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What’s your fear factor?
I am so excited to report so much great news! As an entrepreneur I know that there are ebbs and flows in the business cycle. It is the same if you are working for an employer. Sometimes the budget is tight, and at other times it is overflowing. In the news lately, all we hear is doom and gloom about the debt celing and the ‘great recession’ and it is easy to get sucked into the negativity and become fearful of the unknown. One of the principles in my book, Confessions of an Adrenaline Addict is the Power of Choice. We can choose to resist what IS and suffer from fear, worry, and anxiety or we can ride the wave and accept that ‘this, too, shall pass.’ It isn’t always easy to choose to be optimistic, which is why I turn to my coaches, mastermind partner, mentors, inspirational books, and good friends to stay focused on the positive. We all teach what we need to learn and as Iyanla Vanzant says, “the best students get the hardest tests.” In this issue, I will share how I shifted my fear to prosperity and inspiration, and each (though sometimes difficult) step that I took to get there.
One of the tools I used to switch my FEAR mindset was to resume working with a Life Coach. Yes, every coach needs a coach. I am using this very affordable program that gives me tons of LIFE MAPS in the areas of career, health, finance, spirituality, and work-life balance. In fact, my coach, Lynn Richardson, is the COO for Russell Simmons, millionaire-mogul-pioneering co-founder of Def Jam records. She knows a bit about finances; guiding Simmons to build his empire and all. I have been focused on finance and in seven days of doing this MAP ten minutes a day I was able to figure out how to slash my expenses by 45%. It was amazing!
You can get a basic program for free here. Choose Lynn Richardson as your coach if personal finance is an area you’d like to improve on in your life. I will be facilitating group coaching on Career issues in the near future.
More great news! My grant to empower foster youth with the tools to develop self esteem, self confidence, and the leadership mindset was renewed. This grant also allows me to assist unemployed people in Watts, East Los Angeles and the east San Fernando Valley to obtain gainful employment. In addition, I also landed a contract to help job seekers in the south bay area to obtain green jobs. If you are a contractor, architect or builder and are looking for talent qualified for the new green economy email me at: deb@synergyunlimited.net.
In honor of my birthday month of November, I will be initiating my premiere live television show called My Abundant Life Now. I figure if the CEO of Facebook and Oprah use this platform to spread their message, it might be a good idea. Remember, success leaves clues and you can find them if you pay attention. My Abundant Life Now will be filled with great live interviews, resources, and inspiration to guide you through the how-tos of purposeful careers, vital health, boundless prosperity, and a thriving small business. It will be like a modern version of Think and Grow Rich through the 21st century lens. This weekly show will be live on Mondays at 5:00 P.M. PST and 8:00 P.M. EST. Click to watch episodes On Demand! or ‘Like’ me on Facebook to get reminders of the show times.
I am going to be speaking on gender identity to 300 Latinas in High school at Emory University in Atlanta on November 5th. We are going to shift HATERS into Elevators in two interactive workshops. How wonderful to be able to serve and spend my birthday weekend in lovely Atlanta!
A Few of My Favorite Things
Are you noticing that the Christmas Trees/Hanukah Bushes are going up on every corner, even though Halloween is two weeks away? Whether we are ready or not, here come the holidays. If you are like me, you don’t have time or patience to park in crowded parking lots and fight the masses at the mall. So, I buy all my gifts online. Since the Oprah show is off the air I have decided to take it upon myself to make my own list of Deborah’s Favorite Things. If your holiday list includes people that want to lose weight, wear a body shaper if they haven’t lost weight (even J-Lo does it—so no shame in your game!), or a great rotisserie to cook healthy meals, I have picked just a few of my favorite things for you to consider for those you love. Check it out and share with your friends. Click here to see Deborah’s Favorite Things.
Shift from Scarcity to Service to Activate Your Abundance
Are you worried about falling stocks?
Are you concerned about job stability or the next quarter revenue of your business?
Does uncertainty about the future keep you up at night?
If you are fearful you are not alone and this article will give you tools to make another choice.
We train ourselves to want to know what is going to happen in the future and if we don’t know—it will take us to Destination FEAR. The more we lament our helpless ignorance, the worse we feel, and the cycle continues down an anxious spiral.
What is an alternative to FEAR?
The best asnwer is to trust that even in times of ambiguity and uncertainty everything is actually coming together, and will all work out. Affirm that I am always in the right place at the right time meeting the right people. While it may seem like things are falling apart or breaking down, our opportunity is to embrace the lesson in how we respond rather than react during this experience.
The other day, I was practicing one of my tools to help me stay out of fear: to be of service to others. It helps even if just for the time being, I engage in some sort of service. When we are of service to others we can break free of our preconceived constructs, see the truth in others, and in turn, be true to our own selves. I practice this service every Monday night, when I volunteer my time for a group designed to help people shift from fear into faith. (If you live in Los Angeles and you would like to attend, there is no fee, just a love donation. Even if you are out of Los Angeles you can join the meetup group for great resources. Check out the website here.
Recently, our inspirational speaker was Koya Webb, The Healthy Lifestyle Coach, Raw Food Chef, Fitness model and my mastermind partner. Koya shared a story:
She was a track star, but had a dream of being on the basketball team. After being rejected several times, she was finally made the team—as captian. She had a goal to lead her team to their first victory.
Shortly after she made the team she was injured and forced to warm the bench. During her recovery period, she could not train or be involved in practice. She let her intuition guide her in meditation and the practice of yoga. It helped her body to stay fit and conditioned, while allowing her mind to be at peace. During this ‘latent’ recovery period, she experienced a transformation. She learned to surrender the spotlight for a more behind-the-scenes stardom, bringing her teammates water and cheering them on from the sidelines. As soon as she was content with this surrender, her coach asked her how she felt, and if she was ready to play.
She said, “Coach, I am strong—physically and mentally. I can play.” Soon after that, Koya led her team to their first victory.
The moral of the story? When we surrender to our situation and let go of scarcity and fear, we can accept what is, and tune into the life lesson to experience peace unattached to the outcome.
If you are chained to the desire to meticulously plan and control the future, have that job or that title, that windowed corner office, then you are imprisoned. When you trust and know that all is well even if it is not your specific plan, by accepting your presence the lesson will be revealed and you will be free to experience peace of mind and move forward powerfully to find success with ease and grace.
5 Tips to Eliminate the Fear Factor
1) Be of service. Help others to achieve their goals. You will find your advise for them is really for your self.
2) Be humble. Sometimes during our transformation/breakdown/breakthrough we get a taste of humble pie. Embrace this as part of breaking down our ego and embracing our true selves. (Oprah is talking about this on her life class—check it out at www.oprah.com)
3) Be willing. To take a step back and start again knowing we are not starting from scratch we have insights, resources and new awarenesses that will enable us to work smarter not harder.
4) Be Open. Realize there is no such thing as failure as long as we are willing to get up and try again.
5) Be available. There are so many resources to assist us in getting out of debt, a new job, starting a business, or rebuilding our credit. We just need to let go of the ‘know it all’ and ask for help.
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Let Go of Resistance to Asking for Help by Deborah Deras
How many times have you been so frustrated, angry or depressed and felt you were at your wits end?
What was your first impulse to scream, cry, complain/cvetch or give up?
Well, me too. It seems that recently with all the talk of economic recession whether real or imagined has created a consciousness of lack and limitation filling the air which cause FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) to be exacerbated. Can you feel it? I can.
Recently, I have been going through the possibility of losing my home like many Americans. The untimely death of a great friend, Aunt figure. The birth of a baby to my brother and his fiancée 21 years old both with disabilities and my Father in the hospital with multiple gigs cancelling I felt as if my world was crashing in.
Because Einstein says, we can’t solve a problem from the place it is created. The idea of solving the problem from the level of the problem is futile. Even though I know consciously I am aware of this and share this with my audiences at my motivational speaking events. One day last week, I woke up in the middle of the night up in a panic night at 4am trying to figure out a solution to my problem.
Whenever I have a challenge I can get excited because it is another life lesson for me that I can also share with you. The EGO feels like it is dying rather than transforming. My motivational speaking and training company, Synergy Unlimited LLC, talks about the power of SYNERGY, when two or more are gathered in mutual agreement about an idea, thought or projects you can achieve quantum results. I realized I needed to ask for help. I could not do this alone. My ego resisted because it wants to look great All the time, like I have it all together all the time. I had to be vulnerable and call out to people and ask for help. You may feel as if you are powerless over the economy but you are empowered to what you focus on.
Help
However, I realized the best thing for me is to be authentic when I am people know I am real a human being like you that has good and bad days. Yes, I have a big dimpled smile but sometimes when that goes upside down like you I have tools I can use to turn things around.
SHIFT FROM DEPRESSION TO HOPE
1) Have the courage to share your secret or shame to a person you trust. Sometimes the catharsis of just sharing can life a big weight off your shoulder
2) Let go of the belief you have to do it alone. This is the time for SYNERGY now more than ever. Make a list of 5 people you can call upon to support, encourage or provide resources for you
3) Let your emotions out whether it is anger, frustration or sadness. I do this by running fast on the sand on the beach. The sweat is pouring down my face and the wind from the ocean kisses it and I feel a great release. Find away to release that is good for you.
4) Rise above the place of the problem to the quality you want to call forth. If it is finances zoom out on your life and see the big picture. You are not your bank account balance, FICO score or your salary. Ask your higher self what qualities do you need to have more of now? Is it peace of mind, freedom, security, serenity?
5) Visualize these qualities in your life right now. Click here for a visualization I created that you can listen to on your way to work or before you get out of bed in morning or at night.
Let’s walk this path together by Letting Go of Ego to get back on track.
To your success with ease and grace,
Deborah Deras
Speaker, Author, Coach
Live to Serve Rather than Work to Live
310-945-5651
When you feel all is lost…
The One Thing You Can Never Lose….
Recently, it seems as life has given me a lot to handle on my already full plate. My dear beloved sweet angel, Aurora who was like an Aunt to me the last three years after transitioning from married life to single life I had nowhere to go for holidays that felt like home. She invited me each year to Thanksgiving and we would line dance, belly dance, and karaoke.
How fun, they are my kind of family. My Mom and Aurora were like two peas in a pod loving to dance and sing and enjoy the vitality of life. Aurora always ate healthy and even began teaching line dance class to seniors at the gym. She was the epitome of health until one day, I heard she had Lung Cancer which was so shocking giving her healthy lifestyle. She fought it and overcame it and than a year later it came back and overtook her body and she passed away this week soooo young in her 60’s to have her life taken.
Angel
Than my beloved, Father around 70 years old, began to complain or memory issues, headaches and developed a lip infection that 3 different antibiotics wouldn’t heal. He was irritable, agitated and when his fever skyrocketed to 102 degrees he was hospitalized. The doctors ruled out everything so they sent him home saying it was a viral infection after two days of testing just minutes after Aurora had made her transition. It was so terrifying to me the thought of losing him too.
Than my beloved younger 21 year old brother who has a learning disability got his fiancée pregnant who also has a disability and now this week with all the memorial plans, and hospitalizations they are having the baby in the desert of Lancaster over an hour and half away with no traffic.
Than it became apparent that I must short sale my house for multiple reasons I don’t even want to spell out. I would be losing my adorable cute house with the avocado bush that I door knocked to and negotiated the purchase all by myself, got the loan approvals, wrote the contract. Aaaah. Than my laptop crashed after my cell phone broke.
My brain began to fry up and pound with a headache. And than I remembered God, will never give you more than you can handle. I also remembered the Mother Theresa quote, than why does God trust me with sooooo much?
In all this loss, transition and like my prayer partner Adoley Odunton and co-author of our book, Confessions of an Adrenaline Addict reminded me it is an Evolution. For my soul to evolve and grow I have to learn to deal with and experience life stressors and at the same time not let it stress me out.
I know death is inevitable. Birth in my brother’s case is inevitable. And loss of a house is part of life. Knowing that life is eternal gives me peace because I know Aurora’s soul will live on and her angel spirit will always be with me and her family. I know that my brother will have the support he needs from me, my Mom, his Grandfather and other resources to assist him.
I also know that as I write my new book on letting go that all this including the house becomes a chapter. AS Eckhart Tolle, has taught me to remain unattached I no longer feel like a failure with this loss but as an empowered being allowing the material to fall away and allowing my soul to get closer to the one thing I (we) can never lose, is our relationship with a higher power and faith that ALL is in divine order in the circle of life.
Right now, I Let Go and Let God. Knowing all is well. Peace be still.
Let Go of What Other People Think & Say About Us
LET GO OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK or SAY:
Your joy is internal rather than based on approval of others
Let Go
In order to live an abundant life now, we need to gain mastery of our minds and shift out of states of sadness and/or depression as rapidly as possible to restore our natural state of joy. To do this, we cannot bypass and avoid feelings, but express them and then move on to a productive state of joy and gratitude so we can be at peace and achieve our goals. To do this we must learn how to Let Go. Today, I am practicing Letting Go of What People Think or Say about me.
Yesterday was my baby brother’s (now 21) fiancée’s baby shower. I say my baby brother because he was born when I was 19 (don’t start doing the math now). He was so cute – a little five pound preemie that struggled to get his strength. He was like my own little baby with all the benefits and none of the responsibility since I had already left home.
At his baby shower I was the only women single and without children. His grandfather said to me in a very loving way, “You’re going to let your baby brother outdo you!”
My competitive spirit felt deflated like a loser in a race I didn’t know I even entered. However, there are many women who are career minded, J-Lo, Mariah Carey for example, that wait until later in life to begin their families. I know this is the truth and I also know I purposely have waited to start my own family in order to focus on going to school and expanding my business. Still, when I got home from the baby shower I started to feel sad.
I walked into my one-bedroom apartment feeling sorry for myself. Anthony Robbins, in his book Unlimited Power talks about how depression is a state that we have to deliberately put ourselves into, just like happiness. We have to think about things in the past that have disappointed or hurt us, dwell on things that we feel guilty about, or point the finger at someone we resent because they purposefully did us wrong. Then, we have to put our shoulders down and “cope” with comfort food like alcohol or sugar. We then see our future as dim and dark with no possibilities for our dreams to come true. Depressing, right?
Here is the good news. Robbins also said through his study of Neuro Linguistic Programming (the study of the way we process thoughts and how it affects our actions) that we can take that same energy and put it on positive thoughts. We can put our thoughts on ALL the things we are grateful for. For example in my situation, instead of focusing on me and what I lack, I could be grateful for all the things I have: a successful career, freedom to travel the world, living at the beach, great relationships, loads of friends and a close relationship with my family. I can be happy to get the benefits of having a baby around via my brother and still travel when I need to. We can put ourselves in a state of happiness by seeing, hearing and feeling things that make us happy (ie, those things we are grateful for).
The key to living an abundant life now is to choose happiness and to take constant, persistent and proactive steps to stay there. Advertisements aim to make us believe that we cannot be happy and fearless without the products that they market – and when we are in that state of unhappiness, it is much easier to buy into that agenda.
Here are my tips that I use to get myself back on the bright side of the road when I am feeling down:
1) Read a positive inspiring book with tools and tips (Check out my book, Confession of an Adrenaline Addict: How to achieve more with less effort on www.SynergyUnlimited.net).
2) Go outside in nature and smell the air and feel the sunshine.
3) Play! Go rollerblading, jogging on beach, spinning, Salsa dancing (those are my favorites -what are yours?) Write them down and act on them when you feel down or choose to be depressed and stay there until you feel complete and then decide to move on. It is a choice.
4) Surround yourself with positive people. I have a great group of friends that I affectionately call the “Flygirls” because they are fly, positive, smart, fun and adventurous (among many other talents).
5) Create a gratitude list.
6) Create a LET GO list to release the negative people, places things, and thoughts that are weighing you down.
7) Watch a comedy (I recently went to see the smurfs. I loved it!).
Bonus tip: Say an Affirmation
Today, I am Letting GO of other people’s time tables and embracing divine right order.
Please don’t take my word for this. Try it yourself. Use one or all of these 7 steps and I guarantee you that your frown will turn upside down and you will feel the inner joy that is your natural state.
Deborah Deras, motivational speaker, author, life coach, spiritual counselor, wedding officiant and trainer
For more information on booking Deborah to speak call 310-945-5651 or go to www.SynergyUnlimited.net.
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1 Door Closes 10 More Open
I recently learned how to use www.Hootsuite.com a system to set up all your social media in one place. So with a touch of a button you can update your status on MySpace, twitter, Facebook and linked in. I write my status at the beginning of each week and then it goes out to the masses.
What a surprise it was to me that every quote or affirmation I stated exactly corresponded to what was going on in my life at that exact time. Coincidence, no a co incidence or synchronicity.
Today, it said, All frustrations are in divine order. Well, I discovered the truth in that for sure.
I had signed up to attend a Small Business orientation in Korea town which theoretically from where I live at the beach is a 30 to 4 min drive. Oh, but not this Friday morning, every construction project, crazy driver and traffic kept blocking me from my destination. In the back of my mind, I heard the phrase all frustrations are in divine order.
As I am driving I realize that my beloved blackberry is not non-functional due to the water spill the other day so I have no address other than the corner of New Hampshire and Wilshire. I figured how hard this will be to find. I will have the opportunity to use my Internal Guidance System that I talk about in my speeches and seminar as a motivational speaker and seminar leader. I will trust my intuition to lead me. And it did once I got to the corner I looked at this building with over 30 floors of offices but I doubted so went into a coffee shop and asked this young man to look it up on the internet for me so I can find the address. Sure enough that was my destination, so I scurried across the street in my flip flops my stilettos in my purse ready to attend this life changing orientation to take my business to the next level.
I enter into the office and guess what the door to the orientation is closed and locked and they have a policy no late comers. Not even a minute for any reason. I am thinking how ridiculous. In Los Angeles with traffic the way it is how an organization could be so rigid. But then I heard the phrase again, All frustrations are in divine order. I took a breath did my chant and asked to speak to my contact. “When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell
He happily sat down with me and took his time to listen to my goals. I asked him how much he charged for his services to come to my location. My philosophy being success with ease and grace, I realized this supposed free services was costing my at least $300 of opportunity cost with the travel. After he told me his fee and it was a fraction of that cost I exhaled and said, you’re hired!! He then expressed interest in NLP services so the whole thing may be a trade where I now have a new client and business services that I need at my house with no rigid agency rules, driving with these gas prices, dealing with traffic or paying for far away parking involved. When one door closes ten more open up.
AFFIRMATION: Today, I know that all frustrations are divine order.
As you go through your day today and you see that you are snagged by frustrations of life. Say this affirmation over and over. Exhale and trust that all is well and even better than you could have planned.
For a free newsletter with Success with Ease and Grace Tips sign up at www.DeborahDeras.com and connect with all Deborah’s social media networks from that page. For a life coaching, spiritual counseling or NLP session with Deborah call 310-945-5651. Follow me on twitter @DeborahDeras. Remember, with the power of Synergy anything is possible.
The Last Straw… or is it?
The Last Straw or Is It….by Deborah Deras, Copyright Synergy Unlimited, LLC. The article cannot be reproduced without permission by THE author.
I was eating at my new favorite vegetarian restaurant, The Veggie Grille that for a carnivore I can tell you they have the best food. Everything on their menu is delicious, savory and filling. I was shocked and surprised that it filled me up but left me with a light feeling in my stomach.
I received my food and my drink with no straw. Being a dedicated straw user I could not see drinking without a straw so I made the laborious trip back to the counter after a long day of relaxing at the spa this was quite cumbersome. Regardless, I needed it to drink my yummy peach tea with agave.
I was shocked and surprised when the young lady at the front counter said, we don’t have any straws. We are completely out. She went on to say they even had to go to Starbucks to borrow straws for their own consumption. I was shock, smiled and headed back to my seat perplexed by the announcement of scarcity in my world of abundance.
Perception is projection. How we see the world is how we experience it. And what we focus on expands. My focus for this entire year was to notice the abundance everywhere. Even in something as trivial as a straw. So immediately my mind went into possibility and abundant thinking.
Without hesitation, I deleted that prior conversation from my mind of K-LACK and tuned into K-Abundance which was broadcasting in full blast, ask someone else. So, I went up to another young man who was cleaning the counter tops. I asked him as if it were the first time the words were ever uttered from my mouth. Do you have a straw? Without missing a beat, he opened up a cabinet and out poured an abundance of straws so much that they were pouring out of the box onto the floor. I smiled from ear to ear not only because I had my straw to drink my scrumptious peach tea but because I had proven that I am the co-creator of my own destiny.
The universe and the environment around me correspond to thoughts, energy and overall consciousness. My consciousness being focused on abundance reflects that in straws. Now, I am going to practice that same recognition with all areas of my life.
Coaching Tip: Practice writing down in a journal or notepad all the evidence of abundance that you see in your environment throughout the day. Someone giving you a free meal, or a free entrance, or the abundance of sand on the beach or beauty around you. At the end of the day, give thanks for the abundance and watch it multiply exponentially in every area of your life: finance, relationships, health. Email to let me know how the experiment goes: deb@synergyunlimited.net or follow me on my social media sites. Go to www.DeborahDeras.com and Connect, Follow and Subscribe via – FB, Twitter, YouTube.
Affirmation: I see abundance everywhere, in everything in everyone.
- ABUNDANCE
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Work Life Balance Radio Show-Miracle Cafe
Check out the Miracle Cafe online radio show. Go to the link below to hear my interviewed on tools for Work Life Balance. Look under the April 19th show: http://www.miraclecaferadio.com/radio-show-archive